As i wonder....

What if... what i'm doing now isnt what i was meant to do???
What if.... i should be doing something else more meaningful...
Something that would get me pumped up....
Something that would let me bring out the best potential in me??

Geez.... 4th month into the profession....
I dunno if i'm happy... or sad... or frustrated... or bored....
I dunno.... its as though my senses are already numb...
All i think of every now and then is...
how many periods i have left....
how much work to i have to complete...
how much more things do i have to do before the date line...
Are people observing me as i do my work??
Do i talk too much??
Do i complain too much??
When can i go home....
or mayb... what am i going to do with these bunch of ridiculous pupils...

Everytime i sit at my table.... time just ticks away...
I dunno whether i'm using the best of my time in school...
Whether or not.. my pupil will achieve something at the end of my class....

Life is just passing my day by day....
I'm sitting here now... wondering.. how would classes be tomorrow....
whether o not i'm going to make another mistake...
whether o not my pupils will listen to me....

I'm tired.... after 4 months... i'm kinda burnt out...
lost my voice almost 3 time already...
havent fully recovered yet...
i need something meaningful to happen in my life...
its as though i've just outshined myself...
no place to move anymore...

tired to letting people tell me what to do....
tired of lazy pupils... who dont care about their life...
who do whatever they want in class...
and get away with it..
just because of their background... or mayb even because their parents think that they are angels...

One thing....

Many times i sit and think....
I try to keep it out... but it still comes back in...
Floating at the back of my head.....
Sinking in the depths of my heart....

One thing... only one thing....

The longing in my heart...
The words that are sealed shut...
Aching to come out...
but... unable to...

Scared...
Uncertain??

No... i've come this far not to think of uncertainties...
I'm counting the days...
The hours.. minutes...

Not to just say or do the right thing....
I'm going to confess... what would change the present and perhaps d future....

Only just that one thing...
Just one thing....

If Mr Bean did act in these movies.... =_=

Korean Dramas.....

I just finish watching a Korean Series "You're Beautiful- ANJell".... At 1st i was quite reluctant to watch it... but then, after having watched some snippets of the drama... i ended up watching the whole series in three days... Sze mei said, i consider slow adi lor.... hmm... and i'm like, 3 days seems the fastest for me... like that can slowing enjoy looking at d Korean hotties... haha... Its enough said, those bunch are good looking lor.... Worth watching... quality good-lookingness... Comparing the lead actor and the supporting one... i'd prefer the supporting one.... hehe... Anyhow, the storyline was kinda catchy.. unlike the others.. but somehow, i felt that the plot seems like a repetition from other korean dramas... Its like there will be a spoiled, ill-tempered, egoistic, kiasu guy who would be the main character, then there will be one that is a pure gentleman not to mention a helpless romantic who in the process is the bestfriend and then a bubbly one which is like the "kimchi" of the show... the girl who is the leading actress will be soft, cute, the target to be bullied and will always fall in love with the main actor who then plays to always bully her and treat her like crap... Then the pure gentleman in the show will never get the girl... its like he's just chasing a ghost and at the end of the show, he will just be so "wai tai" to let the "best friend" get the girl.... Oh...oh... not forgetting, the villainette of the show will be a super bitchy and equally spoilt brat who will fight with the main actress for her love.... awww... kesian kan?? Not to mention, the storyline will be at some part of the show, the conflicts are because of family background or not a sad and tragic past that either parties cant forget... but then at the end of it, love conquers all.. and happily ever after..... wa wa wa~~~!! There are some good points in watching this though.. 1st it potrays the different kinds of personalities p eople in this world.... both genders included... but then, it also creates an illusion, fantasy.... something that only exist in novels or best still anime... haha... Honestly, i think they potray most of it like how a comic artist would in a comic script or anime.... Over the past 3 days, i got really sucked into this...haha.... seriously, its like all of a sudden u find yourself looking for everything that is related to the drama series.. from soundtracks to biodatas to videos... I have to admit that the soundtrack for most of the series are good stuff.. although some can be a bit of a repetition but then, it has its own trademarks... In a way, korean drama's are short and they have a complete story in about 25 episodes?? best part is they dont have continuations like the english ones, you know like season 1 then season 2.... its kinda sucky when it gets to the subsequent seasons... the plot totally gets messed up... example, like HEROES or SUPERNATURAL..... geez... sad lar... it was nice to watch then it started getting all complicated.... sometimes sticking to the simple and relevant would be good...